I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
