I'm so fucking centered right now
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I want her autograph on my taint
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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