The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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