But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
