i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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