when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
