Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
