fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
