Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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