Farmville is her only friend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
