finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
