Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
