if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
