Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
