Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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