this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
