This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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