i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
