she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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