butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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