still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
