Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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