my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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