ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize