What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
