So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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