You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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