So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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