We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
