I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
