How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
