I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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