So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
