Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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