Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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