Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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