wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
