Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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