Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize