When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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