Don't you send me to vm
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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