How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
