Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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