I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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