i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
