You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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