Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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