My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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