The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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