I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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