Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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