I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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