Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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