I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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