She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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