I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
