My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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