walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize