i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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