WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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