you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You are the jesus of drinking
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
