i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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