Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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