one two three fourrrrnication!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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