Moan for me like Helen Keller
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
