My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
