I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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