your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
