Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
